Let’s face it
What’s your default response when faced with conflict?
I’m talking about those potentially uncomfortable conversations which can make our stomachs churn.
I tend to see three themes (all with their associated variations) when faced with one of those chats which makes your mouth go dry and sends your imagination into overdrive about how it might go.
- Avoid it altogether – Ostrich anyone? You know, head firmly in the sand with the ‘if I ignore it, it will magically disappear’ approach. Spoiler alert – it won’t.
- Pass it on for someone else to deal with – that might be your leader, a colleague or those poor folk in HR who tend to get lumbered with all the stuff nobody else wants to do. “Ooh a tricky conversation, let’s call HR!”
- Face it. You know, put your big girl pants on, look at what’s going on, face your fear (and better, understand where that fear comes from) and have the conversation.
I want to look at the second option.
If something looks a bit tricky/uncomfortable/awkward, would you rather pass it on for someone else to deal with?
If so, ask yourself why.
You also need to ask yourself how will it benefit your own skillset by continually getting someone else to have the conversation and how will it strengthen your relationship with the other person? (In the same way that, as per the image above, continually getting your Mum to do your laundry when it’s a bit tricky, won’t help in long term – isn’t that right kids?! )
Learning how to face conflict collaboratively is a game changer. What starts as a disagreement can be turned round into a team effort with a rich outcome.
But you do have to face it, have the conversation and understand what is going on in the room.
And if you need a helping hand with that, we’ll be showing you how to turn conflict into collaboration in our next lunchtime webinar on Wednesday 11th October.
You can register for that here.
Right, what conflict have you been avoiding, and why?