Can I share with you what I wish all leaders understood?

You have to invest time in developing your communication skills if you want to become better at having ‘difficult’ conversations.

Hands down, this is the biggest struggle leaders tell me they face…

“I don’t like conflict and I’d like to avoid it at all costs. Difficult conversations feel impossible even though I know I have to have them”

At the same time, leaders new to The Training Rock wonder how they’re ever going to find 4 hours a week to attend the training.

They question whether it’ll be worth it.

I understand that.

(If you haven’t experienced it for yourself, how would you know?)

If time feels like your greatest obstacle at the moment, here’s what I want to ask you…

>> How much time do you spend agonizing over that conversation you know you need to have?

It sounds a bit like this, “How do I even begin? How are they going to react? What if they get upset or angry? What if it all goes wrong?!… I’ll leave it for another day”

>> How many of your team members live rent-free in your head because they aren’t performing the way you want them to?

It sounds a bit like this, “Why don’t they understand what I’m asking them to do? We’ve had the same conversation over and over again! I have to tell them that they need to up their game, but how do I even go about having that conversation?”

>> How much time do you honestly spend thinking about those conversations you’re avoiding?

You might not know how to have them effectively (yet)…

So you avoid them at all costs and back away…

And you pretend they don’t exist…

(Even though you spend days and nights worrying about them)

Hoping they will just go away on their own…

Spoiler alert: They won’t.

Our training requires 4 hours of your time every week and leaders get that time back tenfold because they know how to handle difficult conversations.

They stop:

>>Saying the same thing over and over again but never getting through

>>Spending days or weeks ruminating over how to say what needs to be said

>>Going home at night worrying about how to give feedback

>>Wondering why Pam and Stu can’t just ‘do what they’re told’

>>Agonizing over how to challenge non-compliance without losing trust

4 hours per week?

It’s nothing compared to the time you’ll get back when you know how to manage every member of your team, regardless of your differences.

Last month I started our Team Leadership Programme with an organisation I’ve worked with many times before.

>>  This is their 11th cohort.

10 cohorts have already gone through the training and now everyone else wants in.

They’re desperate to join because they’ve heard only great things.

The first thing most of them said on their 1:1 discovery call?

“I’m so glad I’ve finally been invited to join this programme, it sounds incredible!”

They have no hesitation because 10 other groups have experienced the transformation already.

So I understand that you might be sceptical about whether this investment will be worth it.

(These things have to be experienced to be believed, such is the way)

And this is my invitation to you…

If you wonder how this training might look for you and your leadership teams but feel a little hesitant about whether this is your next best investment, please book a call to chat with me.

1. You can tell me about your struggles.
2. I’ll tell you about The Training Rock Method.
3. You can decide whether or not it’s right for you.

It will be that simple.

No stress. No pressure.

Just clarity.

Book a call with me here.

I can’t wait to chat with you.

Have you heard the story of the glass jar guy?

(I call him ‘glass jar guy’ because I have no idea what his actual name is).

Glass jar guy was a Professor of Philosophy.

One day he was giving a lecture to his students and in front of him he placed a big glass jar (yup, that’s where his nickname came from… so creative), a pile of 2-inch rocks, a bag of small pebbles, a tub of sand, and a bottle of beer.

He begins to fill the jar with the 2-inch rocks.

When they reach the rim of the jar, he asks his students, “Is it full?”

*students nod*

He asks, “Hmm… but is it really full?”

Then he picks up the jar of small pebbles and pours them into the jar, filling space in the nooks and crannies among the rocks.

Again he asks, “Now is it full?”

*students nod*

He challenges them, “Is it really full?”

Next comes the bag of sand. Well, you can guess what happened…

The tiny grains of sand found their way into every crevice of space within the jar.

Again, “Is it full?”

*students nod*

(They’re properly sure of themselves this time. It’s definitely full, they think to themselves)

Until the professor pops a cap and gently pours a bottle of beer into the jar, watching it soak up the remaining space.

NOW it’s full.

Do you know why I love this story?

Because it’s an awesome representation of prioritisation.

The jar represents your life.

>> The rocks are symbolic of what is important in your life.

>> The pebbles are symbolic of things that matter but you could live without.

>> The sand is symbolic of the small stuff that truly doesn’t matter in the long run.

(The beer… well there’s always room to squeeze in a cheeky drink…)

If you put beer or sand into the jar first you won’t have space for the pebbles or rocks – the things that matter.

And this was captured so perfectly among the most recent team to grace my leadership programme.

“How are we possibly going to find four hours a week to fit this in?”

It’s undoubtedly a concern for those who work in busy work environments.

And this team were *genuinely* busy.

They offer a mental health crisis service.

Which meant that when sh*t hit the fan, they had to bolt.

Yet…

They found this training so useful and so valuable, that it became a rock in their jar of priorities.

>> They found four hours every week.

>> There was a very low absence rate.

>> They had mad FOMO if they had to miss a session.

>> They were gutted when the training was over.

>> They’re going to continue meeting every week to keep the openness, support, momentum and camaraderie going.

(THAT’S how important they believe this work to be!)

Here’s what some of them had to say about the training we did together…

The lesson here?

Prioritise what matters most (Pssssst… that’s your people!) and there’ll always be room for beer.

>> Have you heard this story?

>> Did I totally butcher it?!

Keep rocking.

There’s something pretty important I’d like to share with you,

I’ve been through my fair share of leadership training.

Everything from online quizzes, hour-long workshops, half-day workshops, and week-long training.

Yep, you don’t work in this business for over 20 years without poking your fingers in all of the pies.

I’ve been on the receiving end and delivery side of things.

And there’s something that doesn’t sit quite right with this training veteran…

…the ‘love ya and leave ya’ disappearing act.

No matter how in-depth your training might be, there will inevitably be a moment in those initial few weeks that follow when you’re finding your feet and need some support and reassurance.

So it’s not helpful to have three epic hours, or one epic day, or eight epic weeks (in our case) of high-value training only to feel ditched and forgotten about when the final session ends.

That’s not good enough in my book.

Which is why I don’t train you and desert you.

I’m available for one-to-one support after our 8 weeks are done so that you feel truly confident implementing everything we’ve worked on together.

Just like Laura* who reached out to me not so long ago…

*Name has been changed for confidentiality purposes

I sat with her as we spoke through a current challenge she had within her team.

The best part?

I didn’t tell her what to do… she knew the answers already.

What she needed was reassurance.

And that’s what I gave her.

Reassurance to know that:

1. She was doing the right thing
2. She would handle it well

So this is just a quick one from me today…

When our time together is over you won’t be ‘yesterday’s news’.

I’ll be there to support you as you implement everything you’ve learned because I want you to succeed.

That’s a promise.

Keep on rocking.

All of our behaviours are based in fear.

How do you feel when I tell you that? (Doesn’t sound very fun, does it?)

But it is the fear of each of our animal influencers that drives our behaviour.

For me, my strongest fear is the fear of the Cheetah, which is a fear of underperforming.

When you look back on my career and experiences that becomes pretty apparent…

Ex-international gymnast and 4x World Record Holder in Indoor Rowing, over here.

#ProofOfThePud

I’m a performer, and I overdeliver in everything I do because I fear underachievement.

But one thing I have heard before is this, “I don’t buy it. I don’t have any fears”

A gentleman once said this to me after I delivered a zoom training to the leaders in his company, of which he was one.

Fast forward a year, and that same gentleman rocks up to week one of our full leadership programme.

So…

> They do the TRAIT Test™.

> They’re told their top three animal influencers.

> And they’re given both the strengths and vulnerabilities of those animals.

We split them up into breakout rooms in pairs – a safe and private space – to reflect on where those fears came from (Spoiler alert! It’s likely from childhood)…

(These conversations are at least 15 minutes long, we’re not doing 2-minute lip service here)

That same gentleman who told me he didn’t have any fears and didn’t believe that fears drove his behaviour, came from his breakout room and volunteered to share…

“I didn’t agree with you. I thought it was a bit ‘woo’ and ‘hocus-pocus’ when you did that briefing last year, and now I get it. 

I totally understand where my fears come from and I’m so glad we had this conversation.”

If you have the same hesitations, it’s understandable.

We’ve had our habits for so long that they become our blind spots, we think that our behaviours are normal because we’ve never stopped to really look and understand them.

Now imagine being told by some woman that you’ve never met (that’s me!) that those behavioural traits are driven by fear, you’d think, “I’m sorry, who the heck are you?!”

The irony is that we’re often afraid of exploring the fear (who wants to face that head on?) because we’re not in control of what we might uncover.

But with the right questions and a willingness to explore…

You can feel safe to *really* look at YOU and understand WHY you are the way you are.

Then you can actively choose to work from your strengths.

This is what our Leadership Training is all about. It’s thought-provoking, and it’s about raising self awareness rather than traditional ‘one size fits all‘ approaches.

You must know yourself and lead yourself before you can effectively lead others.

And this gentleman did exactly that.

Good on him for having the humility to say “I was wrong and I get it now”

If you want more info about how The Training Rock can deliver the same ‘AHA!’ moments to your team leaders, book a call to chat here.

(This is the stuff that makes for exceptional leaders within thriving organisations)

Rock on!