“Oh ignore him, it’s just how he is”

“Oh ignore him, it’s just how he is.”

Sound familiar?

Translation: “We’ve given up trying to deal with him, so let’s all pretend it’s fine.”

Here’s the problem: what you tolerate, you teach.

If John talks over women in meetings and nobody calls it out, congrats – you’ve just made “mansplaining” an official part of the culture.

If Sarah shuts down people who think differently and everyone stays quiet, you’ve basically given her a VIP pass to keep doing it.

👉 Poor behaviour left unchallenged doesn’t disappear. It multiplies. And let’s be honest – if you don’t call it out, that elephant in the room is only going to get bigger.

And if the culprit is senior, the need to address it is more urgent, because culture always takes its flavour from the top. Toxicity from senior level leaders will trickle down faster than the redundancy rumours. And before you know it, the people who genuinely live and breathe the company values – the very people you most want to keep – will be the ones heading for the door.

Whoever is behaving inappropriately, keeping your head down with “I don’t want to get involved” isn’t neutral. That’s your Ostrich talking, and burying your head doesn’t make the problem go away, it just leaves you with sand in your ears.

Your job as a leader is to lead the culture. Ignoring poor behaviour is, ironically, poor behaviour itself.

And to the Dogs out there, here’s the truth: it’s not kind to stay silent.
Clarity is kind. Real support is speaking up.

So why don’t we?
👉Not sure what to say?
👉Worried about the backlash?
👉Think it’s above your pay grade?

You’re not alone.

Most leaders aren’t handed a magic script for these conversations. But once you learn how, you’ll wonder why you ever left it so long. “Difficult” conversations stop being difficult – and start being just Tuesday.

Here’s the truth: if nobody speaks up, that pyramid of toxicity will keep growing, faster than you can say “it’s not a pyramid scheme.”

The best time to address poor behaviour was the first time you saw it.
The second-best time? Right now.

Because silence doesn’t protect you. It just gives the nonsense free rent in your head. And honestly, haven’t you got better things to think about?

The antidote? Clarity is kind. Address it kindly, clearly, directly and in a timely manner before the rot spreads.

Rock on.

(Oh and btw, if you’re thinking “but I don’t know how to have those conversations” – that’s exactly what our Leadership Training is for. You’ll practise with an actor, so you can try out different approaches, see what lands, and find your voice. Not only will you master your difficult conversations, we (almost) guarantee belly-chuckle level laughter.)