You’re Making it Worse

You know that relationship where you’ve explained yourself multiple times… and they still don’t see it your way? You leave those conversations thinking you’ve been clear, and yet you end up right back where you started. When I’m brought in to help resolve conflict, there’s a moment early on that I’ve come to expect. It usually starts with someone saying, “Can I just explain what’s actually happened…” and then off they go. Detailed, well thought through, often completely justified. You can see the logic, you can understand the frustration, and in many cases, you can absolutely see why they believe they’re right. Very quickly, it becomes clear what they’re really looking for. They’re not looking to understand their impact. They’re … Read more

Time for a Team Build? I wouldn’t.

When I used to work for a global financial services company, I was sent on a “team build.” Two days of quad bikes, trust falls, and… alcohol. Picture this: we were literally lifting each other up and passing bodies through random holes in a wall, more points for the higher holes, obviously. (If you were heavier and could only be lifted through the lower one, there was a lovely side effect of shaming.) Then came the “bonding,” code for seeing who could stay up latest, drink most, and still make it to breakfast before the bacon was cleared away. And the second morning? An even earlier start to “test our ability to operate under pressure.” In what way, pray tell, … Read more